I am notorious for saying the things that most people would never say but are definitely thinking. So here goes nothing…
Just like we (never me, just you) lie to new parents and tell them how cute their new baby is, or to our significant other when they try to impress us with their skills in the kitchen when they don’t have any, we lie about loving Jazz Fest. Sure we love the music. We love the food. But we can find all that food, and most of that music, elsewhere. Everything else about it kind of sucks and you know that I know that you know it.
The weather sucks. It’s too hot. If it’s not too hot, it’s too cold. It smells…and I’m not even talking about the horse manure, but the body odor. It goes on too long, the stages are too far apart, and it’s too expensive. Parking is a nightmare, cell phone signals are non-existent, and who would ever choose to use a port-o-pot? It’s nearly impossible to find any of your friends if you get separated yet you can’t stop running into these people:
The “You’re kicking mud on my kids” lady
first off, I didn’t ask you to have kids, nor did I ask you to bring said kids to Jazz Fest. I didn’t tell you it would be a good idea to have those kids laying on a tarp in a pit of mud either. I am very sorry I accidentally kicked mud on your kids when I was trying so hard to kick it on you.
The “stop pushing me” girl
if you were trying to see Fleetwood Mac on Saturday I know you met this girl. This girl turns around every few minutes to demand you stop pushing her….because clearly in a crowd of thousands and thousands of people in a shoulder to shoulder standstill she is the only person getting pushed and you are solely responsible.
The Super fan
the super fan thinks that if you don’t know every single word to every single song like they do, they have the right to get in front of you even though you had been holding down your spot for 4 hours before they even got there. If the super fan is under the age of 15 and Adam Levine is performing, tears will be shed as she tells everyone in earshot how she is going through exactly what the songs are about. You know, her slew of tumultuous relationships.
The Volunteer who is taking their job way too seriously
You know you only did this for the free admission so please don’t tell me what I can and cannot do. If I’ve never listened to my parents or the police, your yellow t-shirt isn’t going to get me to listen to you.
So why do we put ourselves through this? Because people come from all over the world to attend something that is in our backyard. Because people will look at you funny if you say you weren’t there. Because if you are a writer/photographer/etc. you will be missing out on great material. Because about a week after it’s over, when your blisters and sunburn have healed and you have gotten the correct amount of sleep you forget all the things you hated about it. Because what else do you have better to do? Cya guys all next year at the Fairgrounds…only 354 days to go!